Garden Salad 2.0

Materials:

romaine lettuce (3/4 bowl, chopped)

fresh basil leaves (1/4 bowl, also chopped)

vine-ripe tomatoes (chopped into half-bite-sized pieces)

fresh mozerella cheese (also chopped into half-bite-sized pieces)

jalapeno peppers (1 or 2)

garlic cloves (about 1 head of garlic)

shredded parmesan

fresh lemon balm (finely chopped, optional)

juice from 1 lime

olive oil

salt & pepper to taste

Methods:

1. Peel all garlic cloves (partial-smashing is an acceptable method for peeling).

2. Decapitate and disembowel jalapeno peppers, and chop into cm^2 pieces.

3. Pan-sear garlic and jalapeno pepper pieces in a small frying pan with olive oil until soft and cooked.

4. Combine all remaining ingredients in one large salad bowl.

5. Toss in the contents of the frying pan. Add the juice from one lime.

6. Mix well. Consume.

behold, the mustard squeeze bottle centrifuge

Do you ever wish your kitchen had a centrifuge so that the mustard squeeze bottle would actually dispense mustard?

Yes, I ran into this problem when making a sandwich. The solution: a piece of string.

The basic construction involves 2 tight loops (one around the neck of the bottle, another around the 'waist' or skinnier portion in the middle), and a handle (attached to both loops so it stays centered when you spin it).

You can use whatever topology suits you best, but my method used one continuous piece of string, somewhat similar to tying a ribbon around a gift box. By similar, I mean ribbon^2(giftbox) where giftbox = mustard bottle.

Also discovered that the two red wires in my thermostat were switched, but that it didn't matter for heating, only for cooling. I'm on a roll.

Current music: Don't worry be happy.

Truly Minimalist Pepper Oil Sauce

Materials:

- 2 handfuls red chili peppers (dried, whole)
- 1 clove
- hot oil (corn or canola, not olive oil -- high flashpoint preferred); approx. equal vol. to the peppers before they are ground.
- coffee grinder
- glass jar (enough to store oil + spices)

Methods:

1. Grind spices in coffee grinder. (Play around with proportions to find your favorite combination.)
2. Heat hot oil in a saucepan until almost at its flashpoint.
3. Turn off heat.
4. Put in spices. Stir and immediately close lid.
5. Allow to cool to room temperature. Store in jar. Or serve mixed into rice/noodles with a touch of soy sauce.

Notes: Crushed pepper seeds will take on a sesame-like aroma after being fried--that's the best part about this insanely easy sauce.

Current music: Bonobo - Scuba

believe it, river.

Now available in North America. $3.49 at Jerry's. Unfortunately, the dark chocolate variety has not been observed.

Current music: Garbage - Vow

Spicy Vegan Chocolate Cake

(adapted from this one)

Materials:

Dry
* 1 3/4 cup white flour
* 2 tsp baking powder
* 2 tsp baking soda
* 1 tsp salt
* 2 tsp cinnamon
* 2 tsp chili powder (or cayenne)
* 1 cup cocoa powder
* 1/3 cup sugar (or sugar replacement – experimental run was with Simply Sweet)
* pinch of nutmeg (optional)

Wet
* 1/2 cup oil (canola)
* 1 cup maple syrup
* 1 cup soy milk or rice milk
* 1 cup coffee, warm or cold, not hot
* 2 tsp apple cider vinegar
* large dash, vanilla (1 Tbsp-ish)
* nontrivial dash, almond
* hazelnuts (optional)

Methods:

1. Stir dry ingredients together in large bowl.
2. Stir wet ingredients in a well in the dry ingredients.
3. Mix everything together. Batter is highly liquid.
4. Bake at 350 until done, rotate every 15 min.